| Emotional Intelligence Skills involve brain fitness? | | | | even though I have no idea how I will be spoken to. |
| According to Simon Evans, Ph.D. and Paul Burghardt, | | | | I suggest to my clients that they do the same, make |
| Ph.D., the answer is yes, and here is what they say. | | | | some self-talk committments to themselves. |
| "1. Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Your brain controls | | | | When I am going home, I need to make another |
| your mood and your ability to handle stress and | | | | mental commitment to myself to listen to my wife, |
| respond to challenges. It controls your ability to read | | | | who will want to talk about her day and our children |
| the emotions of others and respond appropriately. | | | | and her plans for flower beds and the deck, ect. |
| Your emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the aspect of | | | | I know that I do not need to agree or disagree with |
| brain fitness that has a large impact on your self | | | | anything she says, I just need to listen, which is a skill |
| confidence, day to day mood and success in social | | | | with discrete steps, and is very learnable. |
| environments, including career and family life. For the | | | | When I listen, I give the Gift of Attention, which |
| most part, a system in your brain called your | | | | leaves my wife, and the people I listened to feeling a |
| cortico-limbic system is responsible for controlling your | | | | bit of contentment. |
| emotional intelligence, and like most systems in your | | | | Remember, you do not need to agree or disagree, |
| brain, you can improve it with specific focus." | | | | just listen, maybe even turn your head to the side |
| First Emotional Intelligence Skill | | | | and give them your ear. |
| So if we follow the Evans and Burghardt line of | | | | When I make that internal statement to myself that |
| thought, the first emotional intelligence skill to work | | | | I will listen, I feel calm, and that calmness impacts the |
| on is taking care of your brain. | | | | speaker, who may be very loud, which simply means |
| That involves keeping your brain rested, fed, | | | | they want to be heard. |
| exercised, relaxed, and yet challenged with novel | | | | So the first emotional intelligence skill is to say to |
| learning experiences. | | | | yourself, fairly frequently, and this will be quick, I am |
| When I routinely handle those basic health kinds of | | | | going to practice emotional intelligence skills, like |
| tasks, my brain, the master integrator of everything | | | | listenting. |
| I do including emotional intelligence, will be very | | | | Why do you need to do that frequently? Because |
| plastic, in other words, it will be constantly rewiring | | | | the human orienting response will pull you away |
| itself and creating new connections due to the | | | | quickly. We are hard wired to respond to movement |
| changing emotional landscapes around me, and that | | | | in the environment, and when I look towards the |
| brain will also be manufacturing new brain cells for my | | | | window where there was just a flash of light, I may |
| brain at the maximum daily amount allowed, which is | | | | forget the commitment I had made and join in the |
| called neurogenesis. | | | | argument because my very healthy brain processes |
| New neurons, according to my reading of the | | | | data at the rate of 7 bits every 1/18th second. |
| research, routinely end up at the hippocampus, which | | | | It changes thoughts fast. |
| is part of the cortico-limbic system mentioned by | | | | The next emotional intelligence skill I need to attend |
| Evans and Burghardt above. | | | | to is managing my own feelings. |
| There is lots of information in their book, Brainfit for | | | | That involves awareness that thoughts change |
| Life, about the how to's of nutrition, sleep, and | | | | feelings, so if I am experiencing an unpleasant feeling |
| physical exercise, and there is an excellent discussion | | | | I need to change the thought to change the feeling, |
| of what novel learning experiences can be. | | | | or take a deep breath, or do my heart rate variability |
| Emotional Intelligence Happens Internally and | | | | biofeedback. |
| Externally | | | | Again we are working in the personal aspects of |
| Once the brain is fit, now we can begin to discuss | | | | emotional intelligence, so that I can operate |
| the discreet skills of emotional intelligence. | | | | effectively, cooperatively and affiliativly, in the |
| Once again, I must work inside me first, with self-talk. | | | | external relationship. |
| As a domestic violence educator, I work with folks | | | | It is my belief, that emotional intelligence skills happen |
| who are not committed to emotional intelligence, or | | | | inside me first, and need to be managed at the rate |
| they do not know how to to emotional intelligence, | | | | of my Central Nervous System and that is a very |
| and I teach first, basic self-talk skills. | | | | fast management. |
| When I am heading into group, and I have done | | | | I want to establish a FLOW experience in my |
| thousands of them, I need to reaffirm, with self-talk, | | | | relationships, but that FLOW happens inside me. |
| inside my head, that I am going to listen respectfully, | | | | |